Funerals have long been the traditional way we say goodbye, but they aren’t the right fit for everyone. Some people feel uncomfortable with the formality, while others simply prefer something more private. You might be asking yourself, ‘Do you have to have a funeral at all?’ Or perhaps you’re trying to honour a loved one’s wishes and aren’t sure what’s possible.
The good news is that in the UK, you have more options than ever before. Here’s what the law says, who’s choosing alternatives, and the different ways you can create a farewell that feels right.
Is a funeral required by law?
No, there’s no law that says a funeral must take place. What the law does require is that the person who has died is laid to rest through burial, cremation, or another legal method of final disposition.
The exact wording in UK law reflects a balance between public health considerations and the need for respectful handling of the deceased. It doesn’t dictate how the occasion should look, or whether it must include a ceremony, hymns, or formal speeches.
It’s usually a close family member or the executor named in a Will who makes the arrangements. But how you meet that legal requirement, and whether you hold a ceremony at all, is entirely up to you. That flexibility means you can honour someone’s life in a way that feels personal, without feeling bound to tradition.
Who chooses not to have a funeral?
Skipping a traditional funeral is no longer unusual. SunLife Cost of Dying report shows that one in five cremations in 2024 were direct cremations, a number that’s expected to grow.
There’s no single “type” of person who chooses this path. While it might once have been associated mainly with avoiding religious services, it now appeals to people from all walks of life, from those seeking simplicity to those wanting to focus on a future memorial rather than a quick turnaround service.
For example, Booker Prize-winning author Anita Brookner requested no funeral at all, with her death notice simply stating: “At Anita’s request, there will be no funeral.” Music legend David Bowie also opted for a direct cremation, asking to “go without any fuss” and allowing his family to remember him later with a private gathering in Bali.
These choices highlight something important: opting out of a traditional funeral isn’t about caring less; it’s often about shaping the goodbye in a way that feels right for the person and those they love.
What are the alternatives to a funeral?
If you don’t want a traditional service, there are many alternatives that still meet legal requirements and give you a meaningful farewell.
No funeral, just cremation
Direct cremation is a simple, unattended cremation carried out without a ceremony at the crematorium. It removes the fixed timetable that comes with a standard funeral, giving families space to plan something more personal later on.
For some, this breathing room is invaluable. A service held days after the death can feel rushed, especially when family members are travelling from overseas or dealing with the practicalities of loss. Direct cremation gives you the freedom to choose when and how to gather.
No funeral, just burial
A direct burial follows a similar principle. The burial takes place without a formal service, often with a simple coffin and minimal transport arrangements. There’s usually no embalming, and the body is taken directly to the burial site.
Relatives may still choose to be present at the graveside, and a short, private service can be arranged if that feels right. Some families bring flowers, play a piece of music, or read a poem, creating a moment of reflection without the structure of a full funeral.
This option appeals to those who value tradition in the form of a burial, but prefer to keep the day low-key and private. It also allows for a later memorial or celebration when people have had time to gather their thoughts and plan something truly personal.
Body donation
Donating your body to medical science can also remove the need for a traditional funeral. Medical schools and organisations that accept donations handle the process respectfully, often arranging for cremation afterwards at no cost. The ashes can then be returned to the family if they wish.
This choice can be a powerful final gift, contributing to research and training that benefits future patients. Families can still hold a memorial at any time, ensuring there’s space to share memories and celebrate the life lived.
What families do instead of a funeral
Some families separate the practical part, the cremation or burial, from the commemorative part, holding a memorial or celebration later. Others choose an alternative style of ceremony altogether.
Non-traditional services
- Family-led funerals put all decisions in the family’s hands, allowing for a truly personal tribute that reflects the person’s character and values.
- Humanist funerals focus on the life lived, without religious elements, often led by a celebrant or loved one and featuring readings, music, and personal stories.
- Woodland burials offer a natural, eco-friendly alternative, often in settings that allow for a simple ceremony surrounded by nature.
- DIY funerals are entirely organised by family and friends, giving complete control over the tone and content of the day.
Unique memorials
A memorial can be anything from a quiet gathering in someone’s home to a large celebration in a hired venue. Some families choose a summer picnic at a favourite spot, others might book a space and display photographs, videos, and keepsakes.
Holding a memorial later means more people can attend, and there’s time to plan an event that truly reflects the person’s personality, whether that’s a formal sit-down meal or a lively party with music and dancing.
Scattering ceremonies
For those who choose cremation, scattering the ashes somewhere meaningful can be turned into a special occasion. Families might gather on a hillside, by the sea, or in a garden.
In the UK, you can scatter ashes on land or water with the landowner’s permission. Some families include readings, songs, or rituals like releasing flowers into the water.
Living funerals
A living funeral is a celebration held while the person is still alive, giving them the chance to be present, share memories, and say goodbye on their own terms. These events can be deeply moving, as the person being honoured can see and hear the impact they’ve had on those around them.
Living funerals might be as simple as a tea party with close friends, or as elaborate as a large gathering with speeches and entertainment. They’re often a source of comfort, creating happy memories at a time that can be emotionally challenging.
If you don’t want a funeral
If you’d prefer not to have a traditional funeral, the most important step is to share your wishes. Talk to your family and explain why this matters to you, whether that’s because you want to avoid formality, reduce costs, or give people more time to plan a fitting tribute.
It’s also wise to put your plans in writing. This could be in your Will, a separate document stored somewhere safe, or in a funeral plan that clearly outlines your choices. The key is making sure your wishes are known and can be carried out without confusion.
Clear communication can lift a great deal of uncertainty for those you leave behind, ensuring your farewell reflects your values and personality, whether that means no service at all, or a gathering held exactly as you imagined.
A growing culture of choice
The idea that a funeral must follow a set pattern is fading. More people are realising they can honour their loved ones, or plan their own farewell, in a way that’s unique, flexible, and free from unnecessary pressure.
Whether you choose no service at all, a direct cremation or burial, a woodland farewell, or a joyful celebration months later, the most important thing is that it feels right for the person it’s for.
Saying goodbye will always be emotional, but with more options available, it can also be deeply personal, and that, perhaps, is the most meaningful change of all.
