When someone dies, one of the first questions families face is how to honour their life in a way that feels true to who they were. For many people who lived without religion, a traditional service in a church might not feel right. A humanist funeral offers an alternative that places the focus entirely on the person who has died, their life, and the memories they leave behind.
In this article, we explore what a humanist funeral is, what happens at a humanist funeral, where it can take place, the role of a humanist celebrant, and the types of readings, music, and clothing that are most appropriate. We will also look at the cost and how to arrange one. By the end, you will have a clear picture of whether this type of ceremony could be the right choice for you or your loved one.
What is a humanist funeral?
A humanist funeral is a non-religious ceremony that celebrates the life of the person who has died. Unlike a traditional religious service, there are no prayers, hymns, or references to heaven or an afterlife. Instead, the emphasis is on the individual and the story of their life.
Humanism is based on the idea that life is finite. There is no expectation of what comes after death, but there is a deep appreciation of the impact that each person has on the world around them. Humanists believe that our legacy lives on through the memories of those we love, the experiences we share, and the contributions we make during our lifetime.
Because of this outlook, a humanist funeral tends to be deeply personal. It creates space for family and friends to reflect on the values, passions, and achievements of the person who has died, while offering comfort through shared stories and remembrance.
Is a humanist funeral the right choice?
Choosing the right funeral ceremony is about reflecting the beliefs and wishes of the person who has died. If they were not religious, it may feel inappropriate to include prayers or hymns. A humanist funeral ensures that the ceremony reflects their outlook on life.
Many families find comfort in knowing that the ceremony focuses entirely on the individual rather than religious ritual. If your loved one valued honesty, kindness, and the beauty of everyday life, a humanist service may feel like the most fitting farewell.
Of course, there are many ways to say goodbye. Other options include:
- Direct cremation: A simple and affordable choice without a service at the crematorium. Families can then arrange their own memorial or celebration of life in their own way.
- Woodland burial: A nature-focused farewell where the ceremony often takes place at the graveside.
- Traditional cremation: The most common option, usually including music, a eulogy, and a service led by a celebrant.
- Memorial service: A gathering held after the cremation or burial, where people come together to share memories. This can be religious or non-religious, and it can be held in any location.
If you are not sure what feels right, think about the values and wishes of the person who has died, as well as what will bring comfort to those left behind.
What happens at a humanist funeral?
A humanist funeral is usually led by a trained celebrant who is experienced in creating non-religious ceremonies. The celebrant will spend time with the family before the funeral to gather stories, memories, and details about the person who has died. This helps them to create a ceremony that feels personal and authentic.
Although every humanist funeral is unique, there is often a structure that includes:
- Words of welcome: The celebrant opens the ceremony and sets a warm and respectful tone.
- Readings and music: These might include poems, favourite songs, or passages from books that held meaning for the person who has died.
- The tribute: This is the heart of the service, often a carefully written life story delivered by the celebrant, with contributions from family or friends. It focuses on the person’s character, achievements, and the relationships that mattered most to them.
- Reflection: A quiet moment when those present can remember the person in their own way.
- Committal: If the funeral includes a cremation or burial, this part marks the final farewell.
- Closing words: The ceremony ends with thanks to those who have gathered, and often a positive reflection on the legacy of the person who has died.
The order can be adapted depending on the family’s wishes. The most important element is that it feels authentic to the person’s life.
Where does a humanist funeral take place?
Humanist funerals are flexible in terms of venue. They often take place in crematoria, cemeteries, or woodland burial sites. However, they can also be held in more personal settings, such as a village hall, a garden, or even at home.
Some families choose unusual or meaningful places like the beach, a favourite park, or a sports ground. As long as permission is granted, the ceremony can be held almost anywhere.
One important point to note is that a humanist funeral cannot take place inside a church. Churches are consecrated spaces, and their services must follow religious traditions. If you wish to have a non-religious farewell, it is best to choose a neutral or personal venue instead.
The role of a humanist funeral celebrant
The celebrant is at the heart of a humanist funeral. Unlike ministers of religion, they are not bound by doctrine or scripture. Their role is to create a ceremony that reflects the person who has died and to guide the family through the process.
They will spend time listening to stories, asking about the person’s character, and learning what mattered most to them. From this, they craft a ceremony that captures their spirit. On the day, they deliver the service with warmth and dignity, making sure everything flows smoothly and that the family feels supported.
For many families, having a celebrant who understands the humanist perspective brings comfort. They can help shape a ceremony that is honest, uplifting, and respectful without including religious elements.
Humanist funeral readings
Finding the right words for a farewell can be difficult. Religious funerals often draw on scripture, but a humanist funeral turns instead to poetry, literature, or words written by the family themselves.
Some well-known humanist funeral readings include:
- When I am Dead, My Dearest by Christina Rossetti
- The Life That I Have by Leo Marks
- If I Should Go by Joyce Grenfell
- Roads Go Ever On by J. R. R. Tolkien
- Death Sets a Thing Significant by Emily Dickinson
- Play Jolly Music at My Funeral by Richard Greene
- Dear Lovely Death by Langston Hughes
- Requiem by Robert Louis Stevenson
- Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep by Clare Harner
These readings offer comfort, reflection, or even humour. Families can also choose personal letters, favourite book extracts, or something written by the person themselves.
Music at a humanist funeral
Music is often an important part of a humanist funeral. There are no rules, so the choice is entirely up to the family. Many people choose the favourite songs of the person who has died, as this adds a deeply personal touch.
Popular choices include:
- My Way by Frank Sinatra
- What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong
- Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds
- Always Look on the Bright Side of Life from Money Python’s Life of Brain
- The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel
- Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
- Daughter by Peter Blegvad
- Bring Me Sunshine by Morecombe and Wise
The key is to select music that feels meaningful and that reflects the spirit of the person being remembered.
What to wear to a humanist funeral
Because a humanist funeral is not bound by religious custom, there is no strict dress code. Some families ask guests to wear traditional dark clothing, while others encourage bright colours or outfits in the favourite shade of the person who has died.
If the funeral is outdoors, for example, in a woodland burial ground, it is important to dress for the weather and wear suitable footwear. What matters most is that you feel comfortable and that your clothing reflects the atmosphere the family wishes to create.
How much does a humanist funeral cost?
The cost of a humanist funeral varies depending on the choices you make. A celebrant usually charges between £150 and £350 for their services. On top of this, there will be the usual costs associated with cremation or burial, as well as venue and funeral director fees.
Some families choose a simple cremation followed by a humanist ceremony in a separate venue, which can help manage costs while still providing a meaningful farewell.
How to arrange a humanist funeral
Arranging a humanist funeral usually begins with contacting a funeral director, who can help you find a celebrant. Recommendations from friends or family can also be a helpful starting point.
Once you have chosen a celebrant, they will meet with you to discuss the ceremony, gather information, and guide you through the process. They will write the tribute, help choose readings and music, and ensure the service reflects the life and character of your loved one.
Alternatives to a humanist funeral
A humanist funeral is just one way to say goodbye. Some families prefer to hold a celebration of life with no formal structure, while others create a hybrid ceremony that includes both secular and spiritual elements. Direct cremation is another increasingly popular option, giving families complete freedom to plan a farewell in their own time and space.
What matters most is choosing a farewell that feels right for your loved one and for those who gather to remember them.
A humanist funeral is a personal and meaningful way to celebrate the life of someone who lived without religion. It places the focus on the individual, their values, and the memories they leave behind. By choosing this type of ceremony, families can create a farewell that feels authentic, respectful, and filled with love.
If you want to start making arrangements, our dedicated team will offer their expert guidance and support to keep things as simple and as stress-free as possible.
