When someone close to you dies, the days leading up to the funeral can feel overwhelming. There’s so much to do, and often very little time to reflect. But once the service is over and life begins to settle, you may find yourself asking: What now?
Whether you're managing their estate, looking for meaningful ways to remember them, or simply trying to take care of yourself, we’ve written this article to help you navigate what comes next.
1. Decide whether to hold a reception or a gathering
You do not have to hold a wake or reception after the funeral, but many families choose to. It offers a more informal setting to come together, share memories, and support one another.
You can host this gathering wherever feels right. Some people choose their home or garden, while others prefer a local community centre, pub, café or restaurant. Some people are also using creative venues such as galleries, museums, gardens, or even sports stadiums to reflect the personality of the person who has died.
A gathering can be simple or detailed, formal or relaxed. The important thing is that it feels meaningful to those who attend.
Here are a few ways you can personalise it:
- Display favourite photos or personal items
- Serve food or drinks your loved one enjoyed
- Play music that was important to them
- Invite people to share a story or memory
- Offer keepsakes such as printed quotes, seed packets, or small mementoes
If you’re looking for more ideas, take a look at our free guide on creating a personal celebration of life.
2. Create a lasting tribute with a memorial
Many people find comfort in creating something lasting to honour the person who has died. These memorials do not need to be grand. Even the smallest gesture can help keep their memory close.
Here are some ideas to consider:
Place a memorial bench or plaque
A bench can become a peaceful place for reflection. If you would like to install one in a public space, you’ll need to apply for permission from the local council. Benches can also be placed in crematoria gardens, cemeteries, or private gardens.
Plant a memorial tree or garden
Some people choose to plant a tree or flowers in memory of a loved one. A small amount of ashes can be mixed into the soil, although care should be taken because cremated remains are not ideal for plant growth on their own. Creating a garden with your loved one's favourite plants can be a beautiful tribute, especially if they enjoyed gardening or spending time outdoors.
Keep an online memorial
An online space allows friends and family to share photos, memories, and tributes. It can help connect people across distance and generations, especially if the community is spread out. Some families use these pages to fundraise in memory or to announce memorial events.
Choose memorial jewellery
Some companies offer jewellery that includes a small amount of ashes, a fingerprint, or an engraving. Wearing something symbolic can help you feel close to someone you miss, especially in the early stages of grief.
3. Plan for the upkeep of any memorials
Memorials often need care over time. A bench might need treating against the weather, a garden will need seasonal maintenance, and any installed plaques should be checked for wear.
Decide early on how you’d like this to be managed. Some families choose to take turns, while others arrange for a professional service to visit once or twice a year. This helps keep the tribute looking its best, and can also give people a small sense of routine and purpose.
4. Begin the process of managing the estate
Handling a loved one’s finances and property after their death can feel overwhelming. You do not need to do everything immediately, but understanding the process can help you take the next steps.
If your loved one left a Will, it will usually name someone to act as the executor. This person is responsible for carrying out the instructions in the Will. If there is no Will, or if the Will is not legally valid, the law decides who can handle the estate.
In many cases, you’ll need to apply for what is known as a ‘grant of probate’ or ‘letters of administration’. This allows you to access the person’s accounts, sell property, and settle any outstanding debts. Not every estate requires probate. For example, if the person only held joint accounts or had a very small estate, it may not be necessary.
Help is available, and you may wish to speak with a solicitor or probate specialist.
5. Notify organisations and close accounts
There are many organisations you may need to inform after someone has died. Some of the most common include:
- Employers (for final pay, pension or death-in-service benefits)
- Insurance providers (for life, health, home, or vehicle insurance)
- Banks and building societies
- Utility companies and broadband providers
- Credit card companies and lenders
- Government departments (using the Tell Us Once service lets you notify most departments in one go)
- Charities or clubs that your loved one supported or subscribed to
It can be helpful to keep a record of who you’ve contacted, what actions are needed, and any deadlines to follow. This can make things feel more manageable.
6. Review or close social media accounts
Online accounts usually remain open unless someone requests to close or memorialise them.
Each platform is different, but most will ask for a copy of the death certificate and some proof of your relationship to the deceased. You’ll need to decide whether to keep the account open as a tribute or remove it entirely.
Some families take comfort in reading past posts and messages, while others prefer to close the account.
7. Check if you are entitled to bereavement support
If you were married to or in a civil partnership with the person who has died, you may be entitled to claim Bereavement Support Payment. This benefit is designed to help with the financial impact of a partner’s death.
To receive the full payment, you must apply within three months of the death. You can still apply up to 21 months later, but the amount you receive may be lower.
Other financial help may also be available, depending on your situation. You can check eligibility and apply through the GOV.UK website.
8. Look after your wellbeing and seek support if needed
Grief affects everyone differently. You may feel sadness, anger, guilt, exhaustion, or even relief. These are all normal responses, and there is no set timeline for how long they last.
Some people find comfort in talking to friends or family, while others prefer to speak with someone outside their circle. Bereavement counsellors and support charities offer confidential, specialist help.
You don’t have to face this alone. Even a single conversation can make a difference.
9. Celebrate the life they lived
While a funeral may focus on mourning, many families also find joy in celebrating the life of the person who has died. This can take many forms, from a casual afternoon gathering to a themed event filled with music, food, and storytelling.
You could share photos, play favourite songs, or invite people to raise a glass in their honour. The focus is on recognising the impact they had on others and the moments that made their life meaningful.
Celebrations can happen shortly after the funeral or even on a future anniversary.
10. Mark the anniversary of their death
Death anniversaries often bring strong emotions, even many years on, but marking the date can also bring you comfort.
Here are some ideas you could try:
- Visit their resting place or a favourite location
- Light a candle in their memory
- Listen to a piece of music that reminds you of them
- Cook their favourite meal and share it with others
- Write them a letter or journal entry
- Spend some quiet time in reflection or nature
There is no right way to remember your loved one. Do what feels natural to you.
11. Think about your own future plans
It’s natural, after a loss, to think more deeply about your own wishes and what you want for the future.
This might include:
- Getting a funeral plan
- Writing a Will
- Creating a living Will (also known as an advance decision), which outlines the care you would or wouldn’t want if you couldn’t speak for yourself
- Putting your affairs in order
Making these decisions now can bring peace of mind for you and your family. It reduces confusion, prevents disputes, and gives those you care about clear guidance.
If you’d like to take out Britain’s most trusted funeral plan, we’ll guide you through the process with clarity and compassion. You can call our friendly team for free on 0800 470 23 93.
